Previously Relate Severn and Wye
Help when your relationship breaks down
Is it time to mend or end your relationship?
Jane and David are a couple in their late thirties with two young sons, the eldest of which has undergone major surgery for a life changing illness. He is out of danger now but needs long term care.
Things were difficult between Jane and David before the illness, but the strain caused by their son’s problems had bought everything to a head.
The couple came to counselling to try and save their marriage.
The Counselling
Each were able to tell their story in their own words in the individual assessments. This was a relief from both of them and gave them the opportunity to reflect on their previous years together as well as the most recent trauma.
The couple’s relationship was very strained with poor to no communication. There were issues of lack of support and understanding as well as poor parenting skills. This became worse whilst their son was Ill. There was no intimacy.
It became clear over 6 sessions that the couple relationship was broken. Although both worked hard at trying to see each others point of view, to negotiate and compromise, nothing improved within the couple relationship.
The Outcome
However, a better understanding was gained that nothing was going to improve mainly because David was unwilling or unable to work with Jane to change. He was able to say this during the sessions.
Even though the couple agreed separation was the way forward for the family, the counselling enabled them to understand why. They were able to talk more and discuss issues around parenting. Caring for their children was a critical reason why they engaged with counselling.
They expressed this and it was a great relief to be able to talk to each other in a safe space.
They discussed how this could continue once counselling stopped. The counselling allowed them to have an individual voice again.
Jane’s parents offered great support for her & the children, once they knew the relationship was over.
She was able worked on building confidence & self esteem.
This case study is loosely based on the kind of scenarios we work with, as opposed to a specific client. We never shares the stories of our clients without permission, even with names and details changed.
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